When You Need Some Advice Don’t Ask Twice… Ask Dr. Karen!
***To all my on-line readers, I would like to thank each and everyone of you for your continued support and your comments. They are appreciated and valued.
Dear Dr. Karen:
My husband and I have been married only 11 months. Since the beginning of this relationship we have had arguments almost every day. I admit I start most of them. I get mad at him so easily when he doesn’t do what I want, or leaves me home to go with his friends to nightclubs.
Yesterday I found out that he is on a on-line dating site. This is not the first time he has done this. He has even made contact with some of these women. Today he said, “I love you, but I’m not in love with you.” I still love him and want to be with him. I want to repair our marriage, but maybe we should separate since we’ve tried to make it work and failed so many times. I am wondering if I should stay with him and try to work it out.
You need to learn the meaning of the word “but.” Everything that comes before the “but” is sugar to make the medicine go down easier. Everything that comes after the “but” is the medicine. “I love you, but I’m not in love with you,” means “I am not in love with you.”
The word “but” should always go off in your head like a gunshot. Pay close attention to what follows. This is the part that matters. You wanted to get married, but you had problems in your relationship from the beginning. You ignored the “buts” while you were dating, now you are stuck with the case of the “buts.” Don’t ignore them now.
*Why is it so difficult to let go when it’s time?
***Dr. Karen R. January is an expert in youth development as well as male-female relationships. Her book, ¨Lessons Mama Never Taught Me,¨ profiles 10 women and the mistakes they made in parenting, love and life. It can be purchased at Amazon.com. Please send your questions to Dr. Karen at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Disclaimer “The advice offered in this column is not intended to replace or substitute for any professional, financial, medical, legal, or other professional advice. Dr. Karen January, the newspaper and publisher are not responsible for the outcome or results of following any advice in any given situation. You, and only you, are completely responsible for your actions.” Due to the large number of letters received there is no guarantee that your question will be published.